Category: Fun night out

About that date last night.

The woman I went out last night had contacted me on the dating site, and had no profile. Well she has a profile but she hasn’t filled in any of the essay portions nor does it include any photos. So she contacted me with kind of a mini-profile in the form of a message, explaining what she feels we have in common and what her interests are. It was cute because I was super busy that week and hadn’t checked my messages, so a day or two after she sent the first message she sent another apologizing for the randomness and also for not have a profile or photo. Anyway, we chatted a bit and decided almost right away that we may as well just meet and see how it goes.

It took a week or two but we found a date and time and agreed to meet fairly late on a Friday night after I was done at a karma yoga class (a yoga class where students pay by donation and the teacher donates their time so the money can go to charity). We chose a pizza and wine bar that it turned out we had both been wanting to try – one of our shared interests is wine.

I took a change of clothes with me to the class and did my makeup beforehand – I don’t wear much so I felt like it would be fine through a yoga class. When I drove up to the studio the sign read Hot Yoga. Oops. I somehow missed that the class I was attending was bikram. I’ve been wanting to try a bikram class for a while now but I wasn’t prepared for this one – I hadn’t brought a towel, I was wearing non-waterproof mascara and black powdered eyeliner, and I was dressed in a kind of heavy yoga tank and cotton drawstring capris. True to bikram practice, within minutes sweat was pouring off me and dripping onto my mat. In our reclined poses I could feel it running through my hair down to the back of my neck. I spent much of the class praying I wouldn’t stink for this date and would instead have a post-workout glow.

After the class I used my extra cotton hoodie to towel off, threw my sopping wet clothes in my bag and changed into my date clothes. I was running a little late but there wasn’t much I could do about that. The whole inside of the car fogged up from me being so sweaty.

I drove past the restaurant on my way to find street parking and standing outside was a petite woman with curly brown hair. I thought to myself, ” Ooh, I hope that’s her!” She had sent me a link to a webpage with a group photo that included her, and though it was hard to tell for sure, I didn’t think she really looked like my type. But this woman standing outside was cute and looked really put together. It took me longer than usual to find parking and then I ran the two blocks back to the restaurant in my heels, quads on fire from my workouts that night and the day before.

As I crossed the street, I saw that the woman was no longer standing outside and my heart sank a little as I told myself it hadn’t been her after all. But then I walked in and there she was in the lobby. I apologized profusely for being five minutes late and she assured me she normally runs late.

We each enjoyed a couple glasses of wine, and some light snacks, and the conversation flowed easily. We talked about our hobbies, our careers, gardening, poly, and relationships, and soon they were giving us our bill because they were closing for the night – we had been sitting there for over three hours. Both of us were surprised by the time since it didn’t seem like it had been half that long, and she commented that her partner wouldn’t be available at this time to pick her up and she’d have to find her own way home. I offered her a ride and she accepted. She picked up the bill while I was in the bathroom; I had been planning to cover it with the caveat that she go out with me again. Instead I thanked her for treating and offered to pay on our next date, to which she smiled and accepted.

Outside her house we talked quite a bit more about gardening, as she and her partner are currently doing some landscaping at their house, and then we talked a lot about past relationships and the different challenges of being poly and of being bi. Another hour and a half passed. She kept saying she should let me get home, and that she should get to bed, but we both wanted to keep talking. Eventually she did head inside and I was home after 3 am.

It was probably the best date I have been on in a long time. Way too early to say how things will go but I definitely look forward to seeing her again, and I would have liked to kiss her last night, so if that happens on the next date that would be great. We haven’t made a plan yet for when to see each other next – hopefully soon. My life isn’t quite as busy for the next couple of weeks so that will help. I sent her my Facebook information because she sounded interested in chatting online, and I read through her personality quiz answers on the dating site today only to see that we are really really compatible.

Have been thinking about her all day.


There are so many thing I could say about why I haven’t posted.  No excuses.  I’ve just been avoidy.  Thats all.

I attended my very first pride, it was kind of lackluster.  Met up with this cute reporter girl.  She is the same reporter that did the doula interview with me a while ago.  Didn’t recognize her at all!  She’s bi, but has a fella (bah mono!) We’ve been hanging out a bunch too.  She even came longboarding with me this past Thursday and then went out and bought herself a board too! At the least I think we could be friends, and thats just fine with me.

I promised to talk about the cornstarch so here is a bit about it.  I have a pet.  A kinky pet.  He has been my pet for about 4?5?6? years? A long time at least.  The thing is we only see each other a few times a year.  And the longest time being 6 hours at a time.  Kind of sucks, but thats how things go sometimes.  He has some fetishes that I help him indulge in.  One of them being indentured.  So what we did (and this would have been our first time doing this one) was fill up a 120 liter rough neck garbage bin with 100lbs of cornstarch, then added water.  Voila, non-Newtonian fluid…aka quicksand.  The plan was to let it sit over night then the next day have a full day of kinky fun.

Our first night together we went shopping for some women’s clothing for him, cooked me dinner, did my dishes and then we cuddled and watched a movie.  Well mostly.  I have a foot fetish.  I love having my feet played with, touched, massaged, etc.  In certain situations, mind you.  So I was wearing shorts, and knee high socks, and he was sitting between my legs while I rubbed his shoulders and he was rubbing my legs and feet.  I know his triggers and he kind of knows mine.  Well after some wonderful kissing and more *ahem* rubbing he went for a smoke outside and then came back in all freaked out.  There was a family emergency, so he had to go back home.  The thing is he had just driven in from Calgary.  Had only been here about 6 hours and then drove back.  He was supposed to stay for about 3 days.  Fuck.  I was so excited to have a pet to play with for so long!

Texted him while he drove back to make sure everything was alright, talked with him the next day etc.  Then I had to get to the task of what to do with 100 lbs of cornstarch in my kitchen!

Took me a while but I managed to slowly empty it out into my bathtub.

This is what my tub looked like after it was all emptied out.

Once it was all in, I just *had* to test it out, of course….

The other pictures I took don’t get to go on this post *wink*  Have I mentioned my wet and messy fetish? Well it seems that mine and my pet’s fetishes have more common ground than just bondage!

Another topic I wanted to touch on was Koi’s post Putting It Out There and also the replies from Agnes and the like.  I don’t have an ideal person. It kind of goes against my poly nature.  If I wanted to look for that ideal then why would I be with all these other people? I don’t think there is one idea person.  Thats just me.  And I am totally alright with that.  I have also come to terms with my sexuality.  I like it all.  Female, Male, Trans, Etc.  I like people for their brains not their genitals.  I guess queer would be the term for me.  But I am alright with bisexual as well.  Kind of narrow but I don’t have a hate on for it any more at least.

I have been doing a lot of exploring lately too.  I have had 3 one night stands.  Knowing each guy less and less each night…and all three happening in the space of 7 days!  Go Sluthood!  Well ok, one night I didn’t sleep with the guy, but I still see it as a one night stand because I took his ass virginity.  I seem to have a knack for doing that.  Three cheers for anal play!

It was fun and I had no problem showing them the door after.  I think I started them a bit with my nonchalant-ness.  With the first one it was “I want to stay but I have to go home, but I want to stay” and I was all “stay or go, I don’t care either way, I’m tired and going to sleep”.  The next guy “I don’t think I should stay the night” (this was said at about 8am) “Ok, here’s a sock you missed, have a nice bike ride home”.  The third is my favourite though.  Him “This is going to hurt, but I can’t stay the night” Me “Ok, you know where the door is”  I just got a blank look from that one! He stayed for a couple more hours after that.

I would also like to state, for the record, that I used condoms with all of them.  They gave me a UTI, then a kidney infection in the end since they had latex in them, but a UTI/Kidney infection is better than a STI!

While all those nights were fun, and I now know I can have NSA sex (I already knew I could have NSA play, kink and other kinds) in the end it was just that.  Some fun.  Nothing more.  Oh and two of them left items of clothing at my place.  What do I do with a mens hat and socks??

Part of all this has made me realize what I *do* want though.  I don’t really want a relationship right now.  I want some kind of cuddle/fuck buddy.  Someone I can watch movies with and cuddle one night, and another night have sex and a sleep over.  Or a sleepover with no sex.  Sex isn’t that big of deal to me.  Although there should be some making out, and maybe a little sex now and then.  Maybe.

I have another post about the people in my life as per Koi’s last post about being poly single.  I think I have put so much into this post already that the relationship one should  have its own entry.


P.S on a unrelated note I have tried to start up a daily blog.  I missed a huge chunk for a while there (mostly due to illness and other factors) but if anyone wants to check it out, feel free.