My basics are that I am poly, married, and kind of bi, mostly queer.  I struggle with labels.  Bi, gay, queer, boi, gurl, etc.  I’m just me.  I’m Ivy.  I don’t really feel the need to explain my lifestyle, but here is a bit about me.

I work in the birthing field.  Right now as a Doula, hopefully sometime in the future as a Midwife.  I am in the process of applying to a couple of schools and waiting to hear back.  Its aggravating and annoying and I am terribly impatient.

I am also in the process of moving away for the summer. I am not leaving my husband, Laine, I am just moving to a new place all by myself.  I will be living alone for the first time in my life.  I am excited, and a bit nervous.   I think it will be a great learning experience for me as well.

We’ve lived apart before, no problems.  Our relationship is solid and really good, and there is also the possibility that I may have to move away for school anyway.

When I move away I have some things about myself that I want to explore.  If I move for school it’s likely that I will present myself as gay.

While I am away this summer I am considering some form of celibacy.  Maybe celibacy from sex, maybe from relationships.  Right now its celibacy from everything.  At the same time I don’t want to avoid sex if the opportunity comes up.  Maybe I will just do the sex thing and no relationships.

I’m kind of avoiding relationships right now, was really hurt last summer by a girl I loved very much.  And still do.  We see each other on occasion,  and I am pretty sure that she feels the same.  She is just coming out as gay and not sure where she is at right now.  Last year she broke up with me to work on her primary relationship…that is now over – for the better.  I am just feeling sick of being an experiment, or a novelty, or a toy.

This time by myself will be good.

I still miss her something fierce though.

Oh, I also struggle somewhat with my weight.  Working on it…well working on feeling better about *myself*, not so much the number on the scale.  I am counting somewhat on my move to help me with that.  Not that I’m not working on it now…

So that a small bit about me.  We’ll see what happens in the next few months!