Tag Archive: lesbian sex

Sorry for the delay in posting an update. I’m sure you’re all wondering how things are going with the new girl I’m seeing. Since, you know, I’m pretty sure you’re all out there waiting on the edges of your seats wondering how I’m doing and whether I’m getting any.

Well, you’re in luck! I haven’t had much time to post lately because I’ve been spending my time becoming completely enamoured with Veronica, as she has chosen to be called. That and being sick, horribly sick. A bad cold, with a stomach bug on top of it. Nice. Veronica, luckily, has been a sweetheart, and got naked with my poor sick self a couple of weeks ago. Oh. My. God. I have not had sex that hot with a woman for… well, a very long time. Especially not first-time sex. Not to make it sound like I’m sleeping with just anyone, but I’ve dated a few girls over the past year and have had a few first times and have come to expect them to be a bit awkward. I’m fine with that and have got my head around navigating the awkwardness. Nothing horrible, just, you know, not knowing what the other person likes, feeling a bit shy about voicing your own needs, feeling insecure about not pleasing the other person. Except, this time, there was none of this. It was just really, really hot. We seemed to fit really well. Everything flowed naturally, I know for sure that we were both more than pleased, and I almost instantly felt that I would be comfortable trying almost anything with her. In fact I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about all the fun things we could try together.

The night before Halloween she slept over, and early on in the night a stomach bug hit me really suddenly and caused me to literally lose my lunch. All of it. So sudden! Veronica insisted on staying with me, even though I was embarrassed for her to see me such a mess. She didn’t want to leave me alone since Hank was at Kalena’s that night (oh BTW, Kalena is in town for the month as she has a month off work and this is kind of a trial period for all of us, to see if this situation could be workable long term… more on that in a second). So, Veronica (I may be apt to call her Ronnie now and then, if she doesn’t hate it too much… just shorter) slept by my feverish, in turns moaning and heaving self all night, and kissed me on the forehead and was just generally completely sweet. Yes, it was embarrassing… but in the end I was really glad to have had her there.

Now we are both healthy (she has been undergoing dental work that has been an ongoing mess). We spent the night together on Friday night and after a lot of fun, spooned the whole night. I can’t remember the last time I actually slept the whole night cuddled up to someone else. I woke up in her arms and felt very, very comfortable there. I’m really enjoying getting to know her – we have tons in common and I respect her in so many ways – and I definitely can’t wait to spend more time with her, both clothed and unclothed.

The situation with Kalena is interesting. A lot of it comes down to scheduling. She feels that it would be most fair if she spends half Hank’s time with him. I feel that because we have a family, and I have a ten-year established relationship with him, that that is not necessarily true. I don’t think half and half is “fair,” I think it’s something you work out in your particular situation. Hank and I are very “go with the flow” kind of people and as it has been going so far, Kalena has been seeing him about half the time. Generally when she asks if they can hang out on a certain night, the answer is yes. Generally, when Hank and I look at our calendars we are looking for when we work, when Satsuki has commitments (birthday parties, homeschooling classes, that sort of thing), and how we need to arrange our days because of those things, and ALL remaining available times get sent to Kalena to choose from. No different from a single/single relationship, right? You get together when your lives allow? Anyway, she always chooses to take all those times, and still she is never happy. Every time Hank and I have a night together, he spends most of it on his phone texting back and forth with her about whatever her latest grievance is. If he tells her at the beginning of the night that we are on a date and he won’t be in contact, by the end of the night she is emailing him telling him she can’t do it and he isn’t paying any attention to her. I don’t know what to do anymore! Each time we have a new round of scheduling I try so hard to offer everything I possibly can and I feel like surely this time, she’ll be happy, and every time something is wrong and she is pissed off, or hurt. She says we need to try to see her side of things. Hank asked her what more she would like us to do and she didn’t answer. I have gone from scared, to confused, to frustrated to just plain angry.

To be totally honest this is not what I ever envisioned for our relationship. Whenever we have discussed scheduling in the past it has generally ended up that we would be hanging out with our girlfriend/boyfriend 1-2 times per week maximum, maybe one sleepover per week. I guess we should have written down explicit expectations and made those really upfront with new people but like I said, we generally go with the flow and usually things work out. I have never had any desire to spend more than a night or two per week away from Hank, and in fact in the spring when we talked about me dating men he very clearly told me that he did NOT ever want me dating single guys because they would be too intense and want all my time. I agreed that I didn’t want anyone who would want to monopolize all my time, or move too fast, or any of that. I do want to fall in love, and I do want to spend time with one person consistently, but I don’t want someone who is equal to Hank, time wise. Equal in love, sure. That doesn’t bother me. Not to say that Hank should want exactly what I do, but I just… I never expected this.

A lot of fears have come out for me through this process. They are natural and mostly illogical and mainly for me to process. One big one is that Hank will leave me, or our marriage won’t be able to take the stress of him and Kalena constantly breaking up and getting back together and fighting and making up and blah blah blah, and I’ll lose him because I was dumb enough to suggest it would be fine if he got a girlfriend. (*Note: that’s not what I think. That is the voices of everyone I know speaking all at once really, really loudly in my head behind my back: “Did you hear Hank left Agnes for another woman?” “Yeah, it’s her own fault, she told him to get a girlfriend. It was bound to happen. What did she expect?”) Gaaaaahhhhhh.

In other news… Koi is back in town. Looking forward to hanging out with her again. My condolences go out to her family at this time and my love as I know she has a lot to work through. Also, I signed up for a 5K at the end of the year. I am now training for that. And, things have taken a turn for the better at work and gotten a lot less stressful! It is really looking up there. Scheduling was a major issue, but that has passed, and now it is simply a constant point of contention in my personal life.

Love to you all. I have mainly been having an awesome November so far and feel like good things are in store for all of us. I’ll keep you posted as I continue to see Veronica. Hot, hot, sweet, sweet Veronica.


Meet Daphne

Funny, this is the name she chose not knowing I am Agnes on here. We’re so retro. Daphne is the one I’ve been talking about, who is not Audrey. We went out again tonight. I have a series of dates planned to show her the Best Of this city, as she is new here and hasn’t ventured out much beyond the areas directly surrounding her home and work. So tonight we checked out City’s Best Ice Cream and City’s Best Indie Movie Shop and City’s Best Park.

Now that I’ve asked Daphne about her comfort level with the blog I can say more about her, which is nice. Not personal details of course but my feelings, the situation, that sort of thing. I’ll say that as soon as I saw her I felt very attracted to her which almost surprised me as I wasn’t sure whether she’d be my type. I tend to be attracted to really funky girls, either hippy-ish or hipster-ish (I like hip-isms), and Daphne’s style is not really either. I guess she dresses a bit more conservatively? Not quite the right word but either way, it doesn’t matter. I find her very easy to talk to and she really speaks very directly. You know what she is thinking because she just says it, and I love this. She has strong, intelligent opinions on things like politics, and religion, and all the other important stuff and discusses openly. She’s not coy or indecisive… she just seems strong. Body and mind.

After we walked in the park for about an hour, we came back to my place to watch a movie. One that we chose because it was light and didn’t need to be watched that closely… a good sign. Lots of cuddling and touching ensued and she was quite forward in her touching, and soon I couldn’t stand it anymore and kissed her, and from there, we eventually ended up naked in my bed. I could tell right away that I would love fucking her and yes, I did. I can say with great certainty that I would like to do that again. And god, does she have a beautiful body. Beautiful skin, beautiful lips, great ass (I love ass), beautiful breasts, just absolutely beautiful all around. I was hoping tonight would end off that way and am very happy it did. I’m really excited to see her again although it won’t be for two weeks probably as I’m going out of the country on a business trip next week and because of her job she can only really get out on the weekends.

I’m an even happier girl than the last time I wrote!

Sexy Friends (Agnes)

I’ve been thinking this weekend about friends with benefits. I don’t especially like that term as it seems a bit clunky and doesn’t really fully describe the relationships I’m thinking of, but I can’t think of a better way to put it. When you say friends with benefits, people know what you mean.

I’ve had quite a few friends in the past with whom I’ve had an arrangement where we would fool around when the mood struck, and have a laid back, loving and flirty relationship the rest of the time. The first was a guy. This was before I had admitted to myself that I was attracted to women and actually wanted to get naked with them. Really, he was more of a booty call as we only really had sex going for us, not so much friendship, but he was the first person with whom I had a sexual relationship that wasn’t also committed in any way. When we stopped sleeping together our relationship remained great, and when we saw each other we would still flirt and were very affectionate with one another.

Since then I have had a number of female friends with benefits. All of these friendships were already established (some more than others) before they turned sexual. All drifted away from the sexual, eventually, due to distance or time or circumstance. I’ve taken some moments over the past few days to remember these special friendships and be grateful for them, as I feel like they are a type of relationship that stands on its own – female friends who fuck, or make love, on occasion.

Each of these women has been so special to me, each of them still is, whether I still see them regularly, think of them often, or have lost touch for now. The first, my first girl love as I call her, was not a girlfriend, nor did we define our relationship in any way. We flirted at work, went on a couple of dates and I gladly handed her my girl virginity. My memories of that night are so sweet, it was slow and dim and late, and we had a bath and I was so nervous. We had walked miles and miles that night, gone skinny dipping, thought we were going to die at the hands of nefarious lurkers deep in the dark woods, and returned to the apartment where she was house sitting. Today we’re both moms, hundreds of miles apart, and we flirt on Facebook and share the same parenting ideals. I love this girl very much and would share a similar relationship with her again in a heartbeat, given the chance. It would be interesting to compare our young, innocent and very nervous selves with the more experienced and sure women we are today.

Another girl who holds a very special place in my heart was my “friend with benefits,” as we officially labeled it, for at least a couple of years, if not five or so. We have never been overly close as friends, though we love each other and keep in touch, and get along really well. We’re not close confidantes, generally, and we don’t make plans to hang out together, just the two of us. However for a very long time we were each other’s favourite indulgence, usually at parties or after nights out with friends. We lived in separate cities the entire time so those were the only times we really saw one another. I have many, many great memories of our times together and I learned much about lesbian sex while with her. Again, I would be with her in that way again in a heartbeat, though she has a boyfriend now and I don’t know where he stands on the matter. The opportunity has not come up in years anyway, though we’ll see where the road takes us. She is beautiful, intelligent and charming and I feel like the sex bonded us in a way we would not have otherwise. We had a lot of firsts together.

One other friend and I slept together a few times over the year before I got pregnant with my daughter. I grew up with this girl and we had flirted for years. She is so very adorable and I admire her for so many reasons – her vibrancy, her ambition, her bravery top among them. She was my first girl kiss at the age of 18 but we did not sleep together until she came out as a lesbian, a few years later. We were quite close for that year before I got pregnant, and had lots of really fun and sexy times. She is one with whom I do not keep in touch as she moved away to another city and is not on Facebook, though I did see her at a wedding last summer and it was so great to catch up. When I got pregnant, we joked that she was Satsuki’s “other mother” or called her my Baby Daddy because Hank and I’d had a threesome with her just before I got pregnant.

I have greatly valued these friendships and feel that they really enrich my life. I know that in the future I’ll have other such friendships, more successful than my most recent attempt, and perhaps even reconnect with old friends as time goes by and circumstances change. I wonder how many women have these types of friendships but keep them completely secret. I think that for women who are even a little bit into other women, it’s common and perhaps even highly beneficial to have at least one female friend with benefits. In fact, I think we need a better name for it, this bond between women who love and care for each other and have sex – tender, passionate, kinky, whatever – but consider themselves to be friends and place no restrictions on one another’s other relationships. I would like to look into this type of relationship more deeply. Anyone have a name for it? Know of good film or literary examples of characters with this type relationship (positive examples… not the type where they kill their parents together…)? Would love to hear your perspectives!