Tag Archive: poly

I Have This….

Theory, or maybe an idea that if I just ignore things and not think about them long enough they will either happen on their own or I will get used to not having it at all.

Like sex.  I don’t think I miss it all that much.  But then again, I have rechargeable batteries, and the interwebs.  I have also set up my bed to be like a little sunggle fortress.  Take that Superman! My sunggle fortress kicks your Fortress of Solitudes ass!

But I digress.  I would be lying to say I didn’t miss a warm body.  A chest full of soft breasts or soft hair to lay my head on.  Arms to wrap around me.  An ass to grab in my half awake half sleep state of mind.  Those kinds of things.

I met someone at a friends wedding not to long ago.  I was pretty messed up that night and may have brushed off his nice (and possibly sober at the time) compliments.  I saw him again at a friends birthday party.  This time he was the intoxicated one.  I laughed as he put his arm around me and said “You’re cute, we should go out”  A few Jager bombs later he told me he thought I might be trouble and I just laughed at him again, but this time followed it up with a bit of kissing.

Here’s the thing.  I’m sure I could have taken him home, and had my (drunken) way with him.  But I didn’t.  Not for any moral reasons.  More just I didn’t feel like dealing with stuff that comes along with fucking someone.  From what I know of him, though friends and such, I get the impression a roll in the hay would have been fine and no awkwardness later.  Maybe its the poly in me that feels the need to talk everything over, or maybe I am just that much of a chick, but I don’t want to get into anything causal without first defining it as casual.

Now until I feel like I can just fuck a random without discussion of it being causal I will just avoid doing so.  But he is a cute boy… and he’s in a punk band.

Maybe if I just ignore my thoughts stuff will happen.  Or it just wont.  Until then, my batteries are fully charged and my internet connection is wonderful!



Meet Agnes and Co.

I thought with my first post I might as well introduce my cast and crew, since they are currently fairly simple to sum up, at least, relatively (see blog title).

I am Agnes. I’m married to a man, I’m bi (identify more as gay but I do still find myself drawn to men now and again) and poly, and have a preschool aged daughter and a very busy work and social life.

My husband is Hank. He’s straight and poly and works in a field he is very passionate about.

Our daughter is Satsuki (that’s pronounced Saht-ski, not that it’s her real name). She is hilarious and awesome but won’t be mentioned in much detail on this blog.

We have an ex, Wren, with whom we had a committed triad in 2009 that split due to extraneous life circumstances, mainly. Wren and I were heartbroken about the split but things are weird and not great between us these days; meanwhile she and Hank didn’t really speak for a couple of months around the time we split but are now seeing one another in some capacity again. Wren will remain a good friend as far as I can tell.

I have two other exes, a man and woman named Pat and Lisa. This break-up is the most recent and was my first relationship with a man other than Hank since we met ten years ago. I only fooled around a few times with Lisa including a couple threesomes with her and Pat, while Pat and I felt we were in love and had a more intense, though also short-lived, affair. This all ended completely in February.

Of course there are Koi and Ivy, my two new poly friends, whom I am very glad to have met as I don’t really know anyone else in this city who is truly poly!

Lastly, there are a couple of online players. Andy is my married friend from a full nation away. We have never met in person and likely never will. I find him adorable and lovable and we have great conversations on iChat about music and slightly naughty things. I love watching his face as we chat, it makes me feel so warm inside. Odd relationship but I wouldn’t trade it. There is also Heidi, who lives a pretty hefty plane ride away as well. Her relationship is primarily with Hank but we flirt online fairly often as well. I’m not too sure about Heidi to be honest, she is quite young and claims to have feelings for Hank that seem pretty premature (we have not met her in person either), however, I trust her and I feel her intentions are good, and she currently has a boyfriend who is not into letting her come meet us anyway so at this time it’s a moot point.

For now, other than some friends who will show up from time to time, that’s about it! I am currently looking to date women and hope this will ultimately lead to a romantic, more long-term relationship. I’m also currently talking to Hank about opening his mind and heart to the idea of me being with other men. Our current arrangement is that I have complete freedom with other women and he can also date and have sex with other women (including whatever emotions that may entail), however other men are off-limits to me, with the instance of Pat being a one-time departure from these guidelines. I do not seek out men nor do I often find myself truly attracted to men however I would prefer to be free to explore relationships with people I meet as they need to develop, with Hank of course having the option to veto. So for now, Hank and I are both seeking other women though separate from each other, as I am not willing to attempt a triad again at this point – the dissolution of our relationship with Wren left me much, much too raw.

That’s all for now! Meeting Koi and Ivy has been fun and I feel like I am meeting a ton of new people right now, so hopefully I’ll have lots to post right away.