Tag Archive: road trip


Hank, Satsuki and I are on a week-long road trip right now. We left last Sunday and will get back home on Monday. It’s been fun! We spent the first couple of days with an old friend of mine and her husband and two kids. We stayed at their place and spent the days seeing sights and the nights drinking wine. The friend is actually the girl I lost my girly virginity to, years ago. We’ve stayed in touch and while I know we would have anyway (and were, previously), I have to say Facebook has helped. I love seeing photos of her kids, and the things she does, and it has been really cool to see how similar we are in our parenting. It was really, really nice catching up. We have only seen each one other time in the past ten years, and it was for a few hours when she was near where I live for a family reunion.

After that, we stayed with Koi and Man. Thanks guys!! It was, of course, great to catch up with them as well! Man was nice enough to watch Satsuki on Friday night so Hank and I could accompany Koi to the local poly meet and I could meet some poly-blog-friend-folks with whom I’ve been connecting online for about a year and a half, since we were early in our triad with Wren. That was pretty cool. It was neat to see the poly community in another city, one that is a lot more established than the one Koi, Ivy and I started back home.

Still feeling a little mopey at times as Hank has his wonderful new relationship and emails/texts his girlfriend all day, and Koi has her beautiful new girlfriend. Not that you can rush meeting someone, or hold it against anyone for having a happy relationship (I *am* really happy for both of them!!), I just need something to occupy my mind when everyone around me is staring at their cellphones reading emails from people they’re in love with. I usually have something I’m slightly obsessive about, or consumed with – working out, gardening, the end of the world, a new business venture, a book I’m writing, or, at times, a new relationship – and for whatever reason I really like having something to dwell on. Is that unhealthy? I don’t have anything right now. Yet another sign that I should take up meditation, most likely.


We’re back from our trip! It was so fabulous, I don’t even know where to start. We spent Days 1 and 5 sight seeing en route between home and hippieville, and Days 2-4 were spent visiting with friends, taking in nature, freezing our little butts off, eating great food, and contemplating the universe. Satsuki was thrilled with the forest, river, new friends, dogs, cats, chickens, swimming and ice cream. She was being so funny all week and was just so incredibly great to travel with.

We stopped to see Ivy on Tuesday, after she had visited us at our hotel on Monday. We had some gelato and wandered her new city. I love that place so much!! One of my favourites, for sure. We also saw Ivy on the way back through today (Friday) – grabbed some breakfast and chatted some more. It was great!

Tuesday through Friday morning were spent at my friends’ place, whom I now name Keith and Maggie. God I love Maggie. We connect on this super spiritual level and have all the same completely out-there beliefs. It’s awesome. I can talk to her about other dimensions and higher vibrating energies and earth shifts and it’s just totally matter of fact. I tone down my flakiness for pretty much everyone all the time, LOL. Visiting Maggie is like going to an ashram or monastery and having my spiritual evolution accelerated by about 100 fold for the time we’re together. We spend our hours bouncing ideas and theories and experiences off one another and having these crazy revelations (and no we’re not on anything; I don’t touch drugs, not even pot, ever). We talked about 2012, spiritual evolution, poly, the spiritual power of music, drama and so much more. Oh my god it’s crazy the ideas I came away with!

The other cool thing is that we had some really great discussions about poly which I think Maggie found inspiring. She is so poly in her heart, but her and Keith’s relationship is monogamous, mainly. I think she was inspired by our discussions to explore the idea though.

I did a ton of thinking this week about the people in my life and my feelings for them, and also about what I am looking for. I realized that I am really looking to take things super slow and just enjoy the process, not get naked with anyone right away. I really want to hold hands, kiss and cuddle. There are a couple people in my life right now in whom I think I may be interested, but I can’t actually picture having sex with any of them right now. It’s not that I’m not attracted to them… I’m just not there at this point. It’s not what I’m craving at all. I’m craving touch with no expectation, as well as intimate conversation. I hope I find it.

Another thing I was thinking about this week is how my relationships in the past year have helped me to grow spiritually and emotionally. To me that is one of the biggest bonuses of polyamoury – that through the variety of different relationships you have and the complexity of them, you learn so much about yourself and are basically forced to grow (or run). My relationship with Wren was so transformative for me (and I think for her as well). We communicate in very different ways, so we were constantly given the opportunity to discuss that, help one another to understand each other, work to communicate more effectively and respect each other’s unique communication styles. Wren was also coming from a place of belief that she was largely unlovable and unsexual, and from what I understand her relationship with Hank and me showed her differently. Wren is also extremely knowledgeable and gifted in natural remedies and the like, and taught me about Louise Hay and candida cleanses. Through this counsel I broke down my blocks about money (or a lot of them anyway), and the candida cleanse I did while I was with her made an incredible difference in my life.

I learned a lot from my relationship with Pat, also. Mostly, Hank’s and my relationship expanded an amazing amount thanks to the exploration we had to undergo within ourselves while deciding how to handle the situation. It was extremely painful and scary, but in the end we came out so much stronger than we had ever been. Though I’m still hurt by what happened between Pat, Lisa and me, I am so thankful for the growth Hank and I experienced in our relationship because of the situation.

All of this made me realize this week that most importantly, whomever I date or fall in love with next will enter my life for a reason. Each new friend or lover comes with a lesson to teach. I can’t wait to see who I will meet next and what they have to teach me!!

This is what we call insomnia

Just a quick post that will be kind of unfocused because I am not ready to sleep. Hank is working 9 pm to 9 am tonight and the next two nights and when he’s not home at bedtime I have a hard time getting my ass into bed.

So, we were planning a family trip from tomorrow (Friday) till the following Friday. As usual thanks to our lifestyle (work-wise), it kept getting pushed back – bank account ran dry, jobs kept coming up, blah blah blah. Well we were still going to go but then today a work commitment that Hank couldn’t really say no to came up, so there goes that trip. I have decided though that since I have the week off and don’t know when I’ll be able to get away again, Satsuki and I will just go on a road trip on our own. I’m excited! We leave Monday. We’ll visit Ivy and two of my other hippie friends who live near Ivy. I won’t be blogging all next week, well unless I can get WiFi and feel up to pecking out an entry on the WordPress app on my iPod, but I’ll write all about it when I get back. I LOVE the area Ivy has moved to – I go there most springs, and it just imbues my life with this sense of magic and newness. It’s awesome. I always have breakthroughs while I’m there. Should be great.

Also, I continue to be proactive on the dating sites. Tonight I checked up on a message I have on one lesbian dating site – it’s only free for the first week and after that you have to pay a subscription to read or send messages. I had received a message from a woman but can’t read it; however she has her email address in her profile so I sent her an email. Then I went to www.lesbotronic.com to browse the options again, but honestly there are not many and the bulk of the profile there is multiple choice with very few spaces in your own words, so it’s hard to get a feel for people. However one girl seems interesting and sounds cute so I emailed her; another one mentioned she and her husband have an open relationship so I emailed her about the pub nights. Oh and I sent a message to a cute girl on the main site I’m on, and then she viewed my profile a few minutes later, and has not responded. That always really sucks and it happens to me often. I keep looking at my profile trying to figure out what is chasing people away. I know for some it’s that I’m married, but she specifically said she’s cool with that. I suppose often you’re just not what someone is looking for for one reason or another. It just gets frustrating. Only one week till the feminist art show I’m going to, two weeks till I can go hooping in the park and three weeks till my first erotica writing circle! It can’t come soon enough (ooh sorry… no pun intended). Hey speaking of which… a new nail place opened up in the building where I work, and they have a sign out front that says COMING 50% off. Hank and I were trying to discern whether that meant the charge for indecent exposure after ejaculating in their shop would be halved, or whether a service meant to induce orgasm is currently half off? Intriguing.